I was only trying to be a smart-ass when I said that we should adapt Poetics for A6. I think I was trying to be as absurd as possible when I came up with a cheesy ‘80s workout video idea. I was definitely trying to impress a rhetorical/cinematic/fabulous deity when I put the two together.
It didn’t work out because at the heart of Poetics is a debate, so it was cool of Sydney to roll with the tangential idea of competing workouts—an adaptation of an adaptation, if you will.
So let me explain the choices we made in ArisBattle:
1. We embodied the competitors in Poetics, epic and tragedy, in our workouts. Epic and Tragic both have distinctive personalities in workout style. They share general characteristics in verse like completeness and unity, but they differ fundamentally in that epic imitates admirable people (9) and tragedy imitates admirable actions (11). These are driving forces for their respective workouts: the epic values the person exercising, and tragedy values the exercise itself.
2. The persona of the trainer is also an extension of the verse she’s teaching. Our profiles were tailored to the interests of epic and tragedy: I’m from Ithaca, NY, because The Odyssey’s home base is in the Greek Ithaca, and the great tragedians were from Athens. Epics like loooong, grandiose activities, and tragedies are unapologetically dark. My clothes were over-the-top to capture the grandeur of Epic; Sydney’s were black because for Tragic, life ends that way.
3. Each exercise showcases different elements of epic and tragedy. I tell my student in the first (Strength) round to “pump it with a stiff upper lip” because “an epic is no vulgar art.” Only epics are written in heroic verse, and I translated that as the most stately and grandiose form into the physical form of my student (40). The purpose? It reflects herself as a person (or maybe a winner) worth imitating. The stage notes tell Nathalie to appear godlike because it is superior to the vulgar art of tragedy, which involves a great deal of movement (46). Kati is in a lot of pain and she’s showing it…making her all the more vulgar because her action-driven audience isn’t intelligent enough to intuit what she’s feeling. But her technique (action) is superb so she wins that round.
4. The Core Round emphasizes Epic’s multiplicity. Epic poems are made impressive by their ability to carry on many simultaneous parts, achieving grandeur and variety of interest for the audience (40). The sideways, bicycle, and scissor-leg crunches “keep the kid engaged,” while similarity in tragedies becomes monotonous and perhaps not as effective in a workout. Another note: Tragic loses her cool when Epic gets more points—definitely not as stately. Ironically, she’s making a bigger spectacle out of herself than she perceives Epic to be (referencing that vulgar art, tragedy).
5. Tragic definitely wins the Endurance Round. This seems counterintuitive because Epic deals with “a lot of magnitude to cover,” and Homer handles that especially well with focusing on one plotline with smaller episodes to diversify the poem (38). But this decision only compensates for the trouble of holding such a long story in our memories, whereas tragedies are short (but not so sweet) by design—favorable to the audience (14). The slow-fast interval style of the Epic workout may help Nathalie build endurance, but with the Tragic workout it isn’t necessary for Kati, who speeds through the round effortlessly.
6. In the last Cardio Round, we see that Epic wins by a landslide because Kati takes a critical fall. Why Epic wins isn’t clear, but that’s my fault because I totally forgot to yell my lines during the race. I was supposed to egg Nathalie on with mantras from previous rounds, with the final “Think admirable people!” Cheesy, but the words of encouragement motivate her more than the rote technique that Tragic emphasizes. Kati trips up because she isn’t nearly as invested in herself as she is in squaring her legs just right. Epic wins because Nathalie embodies the admirable person that audiences love.
Anyway, Epic had to win. Would you really want to endorse something called Tragic Workout? Instead of Epic Workout? Exactly.
*Major props to Sydney for editing and finding a commentator. All I did was yell a lot and torture my roommate.
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